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Sep. 14th, 2008


I was trying to write an essay about my love for the internet and it morphed into this giant thing that probably would only get me accepted into a psychiatric hospital. So rather than waste it, I decided to inflict it upon lj.

Here goes.

I am in love with the internet.

No longer are we merely friends, or going out on occasion; we have a serious relationship. We are past the first exchanging of emails and passwords, the frozen screens and muddled web addresses and we are into a phase of serious commitment.

I have figured out how to find the best of it's personality, met some awesome people through it. In return, it remembers my past questions, my passwords, even the places I'm partial to. We spend time together almost every day. We watch YouTube clips together, go shopping on Amazon together, and even go on vacation together, thanks to Expedia and wifi. It has endless patience with my stupid questions, I forgive its occasional meltdowns. If the internet had a facebook, my relationship status with it would be 'in an open relationship.' Because the internet just refuses to be exclusive. It hangs out with my friends at Livejournal, goes to all the sports games with the fantasy football and baseball players, over at Yahoo and shares cookies with everyone who ever opens a webpage. I admit, there are there are times when I get jealous. And it's not just when it forgets to hide all the porn sites. For some reason, it never learns to leave the sites with viruses alone, even when it keeps getting sick, and injured. The internet only seems to lie when I need the truth about what's going on in the world, and never when I want it to hide my secrets from the world. When I find out that it's been loading the sites with nazi propaganda or letting pedophiles talk with twelve year old girl, I think about breaking up with it.

But then I find myself searching for information on how the first submarines were built. (way back in 1620, if you can believe it by Cornelius Jacobszoon Drebbel) or reading an article about how an lj community raised over fifty thousand dollars to support gay marriage in California and I realize that the internet and I still have some love left.  the internet supported me when I first started writing. I found National Novel Writing Month through it, and because of that, I wrote fifty thousand words of my novel in November, three years in a row. The internet showed me the way to markets to submit stories to, fellow writers to commiserate and write with, and advice like BIC HOK TAM.

The internet and I are so close, we can talk about absolutely anything. Just when I think we've reached the end of a subject, it finds a link to something completely different, yet totally related. I love starting a conversation about my favorite book, and ending up learning about Eskimo wedding practices, and hitting imaginary tv shows, what not to say during sex, and killing the entire human race with Pandemic 2, in between. Some days, I stay up all night talking about nothing at all.

I guess you could say my deepest love for the internet come from the internet's take on the First Amendment. As much as I hate the people posting about Palin being a V.P.I.L.F., for every one of them, I've found a corner of the internet with amazing people that make it their responsibility to defend Palin from sexist remarks, even if they support Obama.  The internet lets the stupid, the frustrating, the annoying, the moronically close-minded all put there thoughts out there. But if it didn't, there might be some days where I wouldn't be able to write a damn thing anywhere, because there might have been once or twice I didn't think all my remarks through, or maybe came off as a little more sarcastic than I meant. And there's always that fear that if the internet agrees to my wish to censor that over there, maybe someone else'll be able to convince it that we don't really need all the slash fanfiction. And that page about birth control and abortion, why doesn't that go, too. 

And yes, I know about the thing on lj a while back, and sometimes there's an issue with servers making a fuss, but I'm willing to try and fix some of the problems, and forgive a little.

The internet doesn't care whether I'm black, white, or any shade in between, doesn't care if I'm gay, lesbian, straight, bisexual, transgender, doesn't care that I'm a woman or a man or not sure, a emo punk goth teen trying to get out of a conservative town in Kansas or a mother of five working at a diner in Glasgow. Google's still going to give us the same results, and I'm still going to find the same stupid spam about magic drugs for my non existing penis and rich Nigerian ex-presidents in my inbox.

The internet's cool that way.


Comments

( 1 comment — Leave a comment )
ellen_kushner
Oct. 7th, 2008 01:25 am (UTC)
I think this is a *dandy* essay. You write well. The College of Your Choice will be lucky to have you.
( 1 comment — Leave a comment )

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writegirl23
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